How a Brazilian Survives Winter in New York

It has taken me NINE New York winters to figure out how to survive them. That means I was here back when winters were real, with snow days and big boots and dry skin. I learned to battle the "winter blues," which to me felt much like outright depression and not at all like a passive color, and I lived to tell the story. So, young adults from tropical places about to go to college in the east coast thinking it's all kinds of awesome, Do not take this information for granted. My tone is condescending and in nine years you will know why. Take this as gold.


1. Proper Attire

If it is your first winter, you will need all of these things. You will need them until about your fourth winter, then you can graduate to less things.
- A long puffy nylon coat in a dark color that has both a zipper and buttons. It must have deep good pockets that zip up and a detachable hood. It must be waterproof and it should be so warm that if you put it on indoors over your naked body you will begin to sweat.

At Sarah Lawrence in the winter of 2005

- Thick cashmere and/or wool scarves in many colors. This is where you can change your closet. You only need one coat, but you need many scarves. Make sure they are washable and make sure you wash them.
- Warm hats that cover your ears and that can be stuffed in the pockets of your coat. You can also have more than one, but it should be washable and you should wash it.
- Gloves. Nowadays, I use gloves that allow me to text. A good investment. Don't buy expensive gloves. They get lost.
- Boots. We no longer have snowstorms of the kind you can't walk through with regular shoes, but you still need boots. Rubber soles, waterproof, comfortable boots that have zippers. None of that slip-on stuff, you need to be practical in the winter.
- Underclothes. I like to wear cotton leggings instead of long underwear. Black, several, and washable. I don't own long-sleeved shirts anymore. You sweat more in the winter than you do in the summer. Once you get inside a place, you will want to have a tank-top on, such is the power of modern heat.
- The most practical bag is either a backpack or a long strapped side bag. An over your shoulder bag tends to fall off a bulky coat.  


2. Things

- Tissues (buy them buy the box load at Bed Bath & Beyond for under $2.00).
- Hand Sanitizer (not everyone carries around tissues, and so the city becomes a germ bed).
- A pocket mirror that you carry in the pocket of your coat (for snot checking before going in for a job interview or meeting your boyfriend's ex-beneficial-friend).
-  Cough drops.
- Humidifier (unless you sweat a lot at night anyway).
- Sunglasses.
- Lip Balm (I think I have gone through about 5,000 in nine years).
- Moisturizer (big bottles at home, little ones for your purse).
- Benetint (paleness, even for the naturally tanned, is a side effect of winter-- indulge in liquid blush).


3. Battling the Blues: Wake Up and Brighten

- The days are shorter, so don't sleep in. Wake up with the sun, make the day as long as humanely possible.
- Have bright things. Throw pillows, nail polish, carpets, flowers, table cloths, whatever. Just have bright stuff to look at. (Note the color scheme here on my blog.)
- Avoid things that lead to depression in the long run, such as alcohol, drugs, sleeping too much or too little, unemployment, and dating assholes.
- Have at least a shelf full of self-help books. Work through them over the next five years.
- Collect inspiration, through quotes, nature, architecture, etc. Whatever makes you feel things you cannot even label, indulge in them. I personally have a "Book of Happiness," that I started on my fourth year here. It is one of my go-to's for a smile on any given day. 
- Mark on your calendar how many days you go without leaving your house. Do not exceed three.
- Even if you like depressing movies, paintings, poems, and relationships, steer clear of them. Or, likewise with hibernation, keep track of how many of those you take in per week and do not exceed three.
- Cut or color your hair. Preferably not depression-purple. I'm sporting caramel-blond highlights on an uneven inverted hairstyle right now. Yeah. Roar. 
- Exercise. Winter will make you fat.




4. Protecting Your Immune System

- These are the things I have discovered (the hard way) I cannot live without:

Vitamin D3

Vitamin C

Echinacea tea

Sambucus Immune System Syrup

Silver Hydrosol Spray

Mint Lozenges

Emergen-C

And my super Immune System Boosting Tea: lemon zinger tea, fresh squeezed whole lemon or lime, honey, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, chopped raw garlic, and chopped raw ginger-- all mixed together in hot water, covered, and steeped for 15 minutes. If you feel your throat scratching, drink this immediately. If you have to socialize that day, skip the raw garlic until you're home alone and not going out again that day.
- If you are sick, take all of the above, a warm shower, bundle up, and go to bed. Do not try to brave winter while sick. If you have to work, then wear a lot of layers, but make sure you are not sweating while you are outside in the cold. Your skin should be dry, and you should feel warm. Protect your neck, chest, head, and feet. Try not to take "cough suppressants" or "fever reducers" unless you absolutely have to. They are an illusion; your body will overwork itself because it is numb, and then you will crash.
- Ask a friend to bring you organic fresh vegetables and fruits- can be in the form of juices and soups.


5. Love Stuff

- If you are in love, winter will be easier by a thousand percent. If you are heartbroken, winter will make you suicidal. If you are in a bad relationship, winter will make you homicidal. So, if you can, try not to get dumped in the fall, really work on finding a lasting love story during the summer, and get out of anything bad before it gets blisteringly cold outside. 
- We live in an era that caters to cowards, so go ahead and join an online dating website if you haven't already.
- I have been single for many a winter- this last one included- and it can also be just fine, if not great. I take the time to try new classes, read books, start creative projects, travel, and soul search. But remember, Valentine's Day is in the winter, so plan ahead for that one. So far getting brutally ill has been the best way I've gotten through it.


All right, that's my list. Make good use of it! Print it out, frame it, and pass it on for generations to come (given we still have winters in our globally warmed future). And, when April comes around and it's STILL cold, but you're ALIVE, and WELL, and NOT EVEN DEPRESSED, give yourself a giant treat: a vacation from New York City. Preferably somewhere warm, but any good vacation will do. If you are poor, then start a fund NOW for next year and put aside $100 a month for the next year-- this will be your sacred vacation money.


ENJOY.

My Hair and My Smile

10 Tips for 10-hour Flights

For 26 years, I have regularly embarked on 10-hour flights, and I could probably write a book on what I know about traveling, but for now, here are my top 10 traveling tips:

1. Love Your Legs
I have circulation problems (I even had surgery last year), so I am extra diligent about my legs and feet when flying. I wear knee-high cotton compression socks (yep, the old lady types), sneakers that won't feel too tight if my feet swell up, lie down and put my legs up on pillows for 30 minutes before and after flights, take regular strolls along the airplane hallways (the flight attendants won't like it, but I rather take their nasty looks than have varicose veins at 26), and exercise on the day of and the day after a flight. If I can afford it or have extra miles, I fly business or first class. If I can't, I request an emergency exit seat in coach and fly with a carry-on that I can rest my legs on if they start to hurt. Before flying, check your aircraft online- the first row of coach usually has the most leg room, and you can switch your seats online.

2. Hydrate
I carry an empty water bottle in my bag and fill it up with tap water after I've gone through security at the airport. Yes, it will make me pee, but I make sure to drink at least one small bottle of water while flying. Once I land, I drink as much water as I can. Alcohol is generally a bad idea.

3. Food
The best option is usually to take a sandwich and some snacks that you have made yourself or bought from your favorite deli. But that's not always possible. So, you're stuck with airplane food, here are my rules: Always choose pastas over meats (less chance of food poisoning, and microwaved pasta is less disgusting than microwaved meat). If they give you a cold stone-like bread roll, put it immediately over the hot dish- this will soften the bread. I usually find the salads unbearable, but I use the dressing to dip the bread in, rather than try to spread ice-like fake butter on it. If you get a cookie, you can also put it over the hot dish to warm it up a bit, and that makes it much yummier. It's never going to be a gourmet meal, but you can certainly make do with what you get.

4. Entertainment
I usually have at least two magazines (one with lots of reading material, such as The New Yorker, and one that's complete junk, such as People), one book I'm dying to read, a diary (deep thoughts are birthed on airplanes), and a project (putting together a scrapbook, writing Christmas cards or postcards, decorating notebooks, etc.). I always count on airplane movies, too, to update me on Justin Timberlake's latest crap.

5. Clothes
Comfort over looks, always. There's nothing tackier than people who dress up to travel, especially if they're traveling first class. Jeans and heels are for masochists. My traveling attire is always the same. Comfortable black pants, a black or gray shirt, wireless bra, comfortable underwear, and a sweater with pockets. I always have extra socks, underwear, and a t-shirt in my bag, in the event that my luggage gets lost or a baby throws up on me.

6. In My Bag
I always carry a watch, two hair ties, hand moisturizer, small toothbrush & toothpaste, face cream, eye mask, hand sanitizer, tissues, and lip balm. I have a separate travel wallet for my passports, tickets, and extra cash (both in American dollars and in the currency of the country I am traveling to). I also keep any phone numbers or addresses I may need written on a piece of paper, should technology fail me.

7. Hair
I don't know why, but airplanes ruin my hair. I usually keep it tied up and wash it as soon as I can after my flight, but if I have to go somewhere as soon as I get off the plane or I am being met by, say, a boyfriend's mother, then I have learned that hair can be preserved by wearing a head scarf. Washing it the day before the flight and as soon after you land as possible is generally the way to go. Dry shampoo can also help, in the case of an emergency.

8. Be Polite
Even if your flight attendant is impatient and the person next to you is smelly, it is important to be polite on airplanes. No stealing magazines, hogging the armrest, moving other people's luggage, or leaving a mess on your seat. This is important because you may get food poisoning or your blood pressure may drop, and you may need help. In such cases, you do not want to have made any enemies on an airplane.

9. Avoiding Conversationalists
The best way to avoid an overly talkative neighbor is to pretend you do not speak their language. This means, however, that you have to do the same with the flight attendant and be sure not to let your passport give you away (this is why passport covers are great). If you don't want to be so extreme, make sure to have your headphones handy. People generally get the message, but, if they don't, try to figure out what will make them want to stop talking to you. Are they wearing a cross? Use the name of the lord in vain. Did they request a vegetarian meal? Tell them you hunt for sport. Things like that.

10. Luggage
My luggage is bright metallic pink and decorated with giant orange L shaped labels. This means I can always spot my luggage and it has never gotten stolen. I'm a fan of the four-wheeled suitcases and I firmly believe that it should be of excellent quality. I always have my New York contact information as well as contact information of wherever I am going on the labels. My luggage has gotten lost, but never forever.

These are my tips, folks! Hope you enjoy them!

Happy travels!

Chef Lala's First Thanksgiving

Making a traditional Thanksgiving meal from scratch had been on my mind for a few years, ever since I really fell in love with cooking. Born and raised in Brazil, I didn't really celebrate Thanksgiving, so I don't smell stuffing and cranberry sauce and go, "Oh that takes me back to the time my mother lost the carving knife in the turkey and Uncle Maurice dropped sweet potatoes on the baby's head..." But, I did grow up with a very tight, supportive, and loving family, and celebrating holidays has been a huge part of my upbringing. Having lived in the U.S. for eight and a half years, I have experienced Thanksgiving in many different ways, but never taken part in the planning, cooking, and hosting of it.

This year, I wanted to take it on. My parents would be in town, my brother and I live together, and I was ready. Even though my kitchen is tiny (tiny!) and my apartment was upside down because of recent problems we've had in the building, I was determined to make a delicious meal.

I planned it for a month. I read hundreds of recipes, watched videos on turkey mastering, drafted a budget and a grocery list, practiced certain dishes (like the stuffing, sweet potatoes- which were a disaster the first time- and cranberry sauce), figured out a way to do the recipes with the materials I had in my kitchen, and created a daily plan for the week-of. Here's how it went down:

Saturday, November 19th: Cleaned out my refrigerator and all the pots and pans I'd need. (approx. 1 hour.) Made my grocery list, complete with researched prices. (timeless.)

Trader Joe's 9:00am

Sunday, November 20th through Tuesday, November 22nd: Got my groceries! I went to Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and the Union Square Farmer's Market. Spent a total of $85.00 for the whole shabang, not including wine. I even went to TJ's at 9:00am, to avoid the madness. I had a plan, kids. (many hours.)

Bobby Flay's recipe

Monday, November 21st: Made my cranberry-blackberry sauce. (approx. 1 hour.)

Tuesday, November 22nd: Made my butternut squash and apple stuffing. (approx. 1 hour and 45 minutes.) Made a brine for my Turkey parts, dunked it in there, stuck it in the fridge. (I actually didn't do a whole turkey, but separated the parts, breast from legs and wings. I didn't have the space or equipment for a whole turkey, but maybe next year.... approx. 20 minutes.)

stuffing is actually my favorite part

Wednesday, November 23rd: Made my maple bourbon sweet potato souffle with candied pecans. (approx. 1 hour and 45 minutes.) Took my turkey out of brine, buttered it up, placed it on a bed of vegetables. (approx. 1 hour.) Assembled my pear and apple crisp. (approx. 1 hour.) Macerated berries to top the crisp with. (approx. 10 minutes.)

Thursday, November 24th: Got my turkey roasting! (3 hours.) Made my green bean casserole with homemade mushroom soup and fried onions. (approx. 3 hours.) Made my mashed potatoes with sour cream, chives, garlic, and cream. (approx. 1 hour.) Set the table. (I kept it simple. approx. 10 minutes.) Made hot apple cider and rum cocktails (approx. 15 minutes). Got a little crazy in the last two hours, having to warm everything up and make the gravy after the turkey had roasted (approx. 15 minutes), placed my crisp in the oven (approx. 1 hour) and the ice-cream in the fridge, so it would get ready while we ate, and VOILA! Thanksgiving was on the table.

carving my turkey breast. also in the picture: my brother, and my parents' wine glasses

Luckily, it was just for my parents and my brother, so I didn't have to get my hair done or dress up, because I don't think I would've been able to- but my food was delicious. Everything turned out perfectly, everyone was super happy, and we had leftovers for the next three days, including a delicious left-over harvest soup I made on day 3 and a blueberry-blackberry-cranberry jam. 

What I would do differently in the future:
- Make the gravy separately, just serve the turkey over its bed of veggies, and avoid all the straining and reducing that make a mess in the kitchen in the last 15 minutes.
- Make the green bean casserole and mashed potatoes ahead of time too. I thought that because they both have cream in them, I couldn't do them the day before, but as leftovers, they tasted even better the next day, and actually lasted for three days in the fridge, so I'd just go ahead and do those ahead of time too. Get as much out of the way before the day! That way, I could've showered and gotten dressed up for the actual meal.
- I think I could attempt a whole turkey next time. I could use a bucket to brine it and keep it outside on my balcony. But, I must say, everyone was a fan of the separate parts, no carving, and no unused meat.
- Have someone else in charge of taking pictures! Very important in the era of social media. =) 

What worked really well: 

pear and apple crisp with vanilla ice cream

- Making a grocery list, drafting a budget, and researching prices. Made a huge difference. People have told me they spend up to $400 on their thanksgiving meals, and I was determined to do it for under $100. Trader Joe's and the Farmer's Market were key in this part. Two tips: don't buy anything pre-chopped, it costs twice as much, and if you want organic, get it from the Farmer's Market, otherwise, go for conventional at the grocery store.
- A crisp is the perfect dessert, it's easy, can be assembled ahead of time, and heats up while you're eating your meal.
- Easy appetizers. I just served some of the candied pecans that were going to be in my sweet potato souffle, and some of the extra green beans sauteed in olive oil.
- Hot apple cider and rum cocktails were a hit. And super easy. Just dice some apples and pears, put it in a pot with store-bought apple cider (or make your own ahead of time) and a cinnamon stick, warm it up, and serve it in mugs with a shot of rum, some of the fruit, cinnamon and nutmeg sprinkled on top.
- Using my sink and dishwasher and fruit basket to store food while I waited for other things to warm up. Having aluminum foil pre-cut in large rectangles.
- Let someone else think of the wine.
- Simple table. The food is beautiful, there's no need to decorate.

And that's it, my friends. I made my first Thanksgiving, all on my own, all from from scratch, in my tiny kitchen, and it was a success. It took five days, but it was a lot of fun, and I was very proud of it. I think I can say that all my husbands will be very lucky men.

Saving Money in New York City

Recently, I installed an app on my phone where I account for every penny I spend. As soon as I close my wallet, I reach for my phone and log in exactly what I just spent. Having to write down every single one of my expenses has been an eye-opener, and has kept me from going over my weekly budget. It has also shown me where I spend money unnecessarily, and how I can save money. I thought I'd share the places I've found I can really save money on, in case anyone else can use the tips, and maybe people will have other suggestions too.

1. Magazines or newspapers. Read them for free at Barnes & Nobles or online. I do like having the physical magazine, though, so for the ones I really want to have at home, it's time to woman up and get a subscription. Saves me about $50 a week.

2. Water. Fill up a water bottle at home with filtered tap water and don't buy water, ever. Not even $1.00 water bottles in the street. Saves me about $7 a day.

3. Coffee. Ah, this one was hard. No to Starbucks. No to Mud. No to deli coffee. No to iced coffee. No to lattes. I have coffee at home, I am perfectly capable of brewing it myself, and I have thermal cups if I need to travel with it. Plus, I really shouldn't drink more than three cups of coffee a day. This was tough, but it saves me $100 a week, at least.

4. Manicures. I hate going to salons anyway, and they do such a shitty job of it here in the States (compared to Brazil), and charge so much for it, I'm better off doing my nails myself. Going to the manicurist will have to be saved for special occasions. Oh well. Saves me $16.00 a week.

5. Books. I have always justified spending money on books because, well, they're books. They're the best thing to spend money on! They feed my brain, my soul, my heart. They educate me, they inspire me, they make me a better person. They make time pass. But books can be expensive. So, no more new books. I have a membership to the New York Public Library, and it's time I start using it. Time to start checking out books, and not paying a dime for the knowledge and entertainment they provide me with. And, if I really really really want to own a book, buying a used copy online is the cheapest option. I can't even calculate how much money this saves me- that's how many books I buy.

6. Transportation. A single subway ride in New York City costs $2.25. A monthly unlimited pass costs over $100. A cab from my apartment to Times Square, say, costs about $12.00. So, it's summer. Time to start walking. Also, I'm thinking of getting a bike. The savings would be insane.

7. Food. This is probably the hardest one. I have the habit of going out to eat at least three times a week. It's part of the culture of this city; there are so many options, and many of them trick you. Sure, a $15 dinner is pretty cheap. But it's still not as cheap as making food at home. I usually buy my lunch, every day. Convenience plus the social aspect of this habit makes it a really hard one to give up. But it's got to go. I can save up to $200 a week if I cook at home and pack my lunch every day. Time to have people over for dinner, and save dining out for when I'm rich and famous, or on a date with someone who wants to pick up the check (feminists around the world, let us sigh).

And this is how I'm learning to be smarter with my money. I recommend keeping track of one's expenses to anyone and everyone. It's life-changing.

 image from here.

Auditioning: The Other Side

I am producing a play right now, and got to experience auditions from the other side of the table.

Golly Moses.

It was quite different, to say the least, and I learned so much about auditioning, starting from the very moment one submits their headshot/resume, that I felt I had to write about it here, for the sake of other actors who may benefit from my brief experience.

First of all, I was really excited about holding my own auditions. It was my chance to create an experience that was humane and beneficial for the actresses and made them feel valued for their time, talent, and work. The ways to do that, I felt, were to:

a) send them the material they would be auditioning for in advance, giving them a chance to prepare it, and not make them do monologues or read something without knowing its context.

b) have a nice monitor that greets each actress and offers them a bottle of water.

c) stand up and shake their hands when they come into the audition room.

d) have the sides on colorful paper, and the audition form on nice cover paper, so that everyone sees that effort was put into this audition, and that it's a fun environment.

e) be present with each actress as she is auditioning, making eye contact and listening, rather than reading their resume's while they're performing or looking away if they look at me.

I think we succeeded in making the auditions a respectful and valuable experience for everyone, but I have to say our efforts were not always met with the same respect and value. Here are some things I learned about auditioning:

1. When submitting, always write a personal cover letter. Just like we, actors, don't like feeling like a picture in a pile, casting directors don't like feeling like an address in a mass email.

2. If you're a white girl in your 20's, you can count on competing with at least 100 other girls who look just like you. Your headshot better be amazing, your credits have to be awesome, and your cover letter has to be unique.

3. If you've been personally invited to audition, the very least you can do is reply!

4. Never be late. Seems like a given, but even late by just one minute can determine whether you'll get cast.

5. Never cancel an audition. You just wasted everyone's time, and someone else's opportunity to audition. If you're not 100% sure you can make the audition and be part of a show, don't even submit. It's just disrespectful.

6. If you're given sides ahead of time, you should be prepared. I understand now what is meant when they say "Make strong choices." It means know where you're coming from and what you want and who every person you refer to is. Basic acting stuff, actually, but about half the actors don't do it. The ones who get cast are the ones who prepare for an audition as though it were a performance- not that they have to be memorized, but they know what they're showing.

7. If you don't know what a word is, look it up before the audition.

8. If there are other noises or distractions in the space, acknowledge them, don't get distracted or ignore them.

9. Take your time. Don't abruptly start, take a breath.

10. Ask if you can look at someone if that's what you want to do.

11. It's totally okay to ask questions or to say you're not comfortable doing something.

12. Use the space if you want to.

13. For all the time I spend thinking about what to wear to an audition, it really doesn't matter. The only things that matter are if you're dressed up like a prostitute when you're auditioning for a biblical character, or if you're wearing something tight around your neck.

14. Be excited to be auditioning, or don't audition at all.

15. Say thank you before leaving the room, it just shows that you're a nice person. And believe it or not, there aren't that many nice people out there!

So those are my two cents on auditioning, for what it's worth- which for me, was worth a lot. =)