"Da-da-da-da da-da-da...
We are going on our summer holiday.
No more working for a week or two.
We are bound for sunny Turkey
Bet you wish you were coming too
Oo-oo Oo-oo!
We're going where the sun shines brightly
We're going where the sea is blue..."
SUITCASE CHECK:- - Sun lotion
- Toothbrush
- Sandals and white ankle socks
- Superman beach towel
- Rubber ring
- Tetley's Teabags (180 pack)
- "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy (Thanks Alkelda)
- Binoculars for bikinis on beach survey (purely sociological)
- "The Complete History of Hull City A.F.C." in six volumes.
- "Islam Sucks!" T-shirt
- "Turkey isn't for life it's for Christmas" T-shirt
- "British Lager Lout on Tour" T-shirt.
- Homer Simpson swimming shorts.
- Flesh coloured "Speedo" thong.
- Swimming mask for bikinis under water survey (purely sociological)
- "Midnight Express" DVD
- Pet rat - Roland (starving) in case of customs search.
- Fart powder to slip in holiday rep's "welcome meeting" Sangria.
- After sun lotion.
- Map showing location of nearest medical centre.
- String vest x 2
- Y-Fronts (White) x 10
- Andrews Liver Salts
- Camera for bikini survey (purely sociological)
- Passport
- 200 new Turkish lira (Not old ones!)
- £10 note for entry visa.
- Box of ballpoint pens and small hand mirrors to give to the peasants.
- "Visit Sheffield" leaflets to give to waiters and housekeepers in lieu of tips.
- Jar of cranberry sauce ( after all we are visiting Turkey!)
- Oh and plane tickets... always very useful.
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