Jesus

Meet my teddy bear. I have deliberately called him Jesus in order to insult religion because - let's face it - religion is claptrap and deserves to be insulted. So now I have called him Jesus I am waiting for the thought police to come and get me. They can lock me up with thieves and vagabonds for fifteen days or more or perhaps instead give me forty lashes. Such enlightened notions of justice have recently emerged from that shining beacon of civilisation and fair play that is Sudan. My thoughts tonight are with 54 year old British teacher Gillian Gibbons as she languishes in a Khartoum jail. I am thinking of renaming our cat Mohammad so that I can stand on the back step in dark winter nights yelling "Mohammad!" at the top of my voice. The neighbours would think I was stark raving bonkers. They'd be right.

Jesus - off for his holidays in Sudan.