Summit

Since I began blogging in June 2005, I have never met anybody with whom I had linked through the processes of blogging - until earlier today. I felt nervous. It was weird - like going for a job interview. Shirley and I were sitting outside "The Sportsman" off Manchester Road when a big 4x4 vehicle cruised into the car park carrying the "Demob Happy Teacher" (Jennyta) and her partner (Keith).

I bought the non-alcoholic drinks but Jennyta bought the food for which I again send out much gratitude. We chatted and the time passed by. Shirley and I went off to buy tomato plants and Jennyta and Keith headed for the Sheffield suburb of Walkley to visit Jennyta's eldest daughter.

Jennyta was lovely. For someone approaching sixty, she looked for all the world like someone approaching fifty - such a nice face and such a gentle disposition. I am sure she has the personal characteristics to make a really successful counsellor.

I took a secret tape recorder to our meeting and here is a slice of what was said:-

JENNYTA Oh Christ I have spilt the bloody bitter lemon!

Y.PUDDING (Grabbing a cloth to wipe Jennyta's bodice) This should do the trick. There. Rubadubdub! Stop giggling Jennyta!

KEITH What the hell do you think you're doing!

Y.PUDDING Only drying her off Keith. What the hell did you think I was doing?

KEITH I have heard what you bloody English blokes are like!

SHIRLEY Hot. That's what Keith and I can speak from experience!

Y.PUDDING I'll go and get you another drink. Same again?

JENNYTA Naw! I'll have a double rum and black this time.

Y.PUDDING Anything for you Keith?

KEITH Yes! Another "Mixed Grill" from the menu and make it snappy! (YP exits left)

SHIRLEY Excuse me Keith! Get your hand off my leg!

KEITH I was only being affectionate!

SHIRLEY Goddamit! I'm not a sheep!