Supermarkets

Only hermits, prisoners and The Queen don't visit supermarkets. 99% of us are regular visitors to these grocery palaces. As the years have passed, the main British supermarket chains have become both expert and ruthless in their insatiable quest for our money. Some time ago, the BBC conducted a survey to find out shoppers' main gripes about supermarkets and these were the results:-

1. Changes to food/aisle layout
2. Running out of basics
3. Stops stocking favourite item
4. Long queues
5. Trolleys with dodgy wheels
6. Picking the ‘wrong’ queue
7. Grumpy till assistants
8. Person in front of queue running off to get another item
9. Staff who don’t know where things are

Well, as regular readers of this grumbling old blog will guess, I have a few other gripes to add to the list! Take this week for example. It has become clear to ASDA and Tesco that in the current economic climate the budget/discout supermarkets - Netto, Aldi and Lidl are increasing their market share. So what do the big boys do? They cynically plan widespread reductions in the cost of basic food items to combat the growing threat to their dominance. What I would ask is this - why did the buggers have to wait to slash costs? This can only mean that their margins were greedily too wide beforehand. They are like monsters chomping up the nation's wealth, killing high streets, providing people with corporate monster uniforms and terribly low pay.

I don't know who worked this out but they say that for every seven pounds spent in the UK, £1 is spent at Tesco. That is a helluva lot of money - so who is benefiting from this monstrous profit-fest? Who are the people watching their supermarket-engendered incomes growing like rampant cornfields as they sit round distant swimming pools drinking pink champagne? If anyone knows the answer please tell me.

Other things I despise about supermarkets:-

1) Psychological mind games - fresh fruit at the entrance, the smell of baking bread.

2) Loss leaders and "Buy One Get One Free" tricks to lull us into spending more money.

3) How their scanning or pricing errors are okay but a kid stealling a can of lager feels the full force of their legal wrath.

4) "Free" delivery services that those not using the delivery service actually pay for!

5) Very limited recycling facilities even though they are responsible for mountains of waste.

6) Occasional and very costly changes in corporate uniforms. Who pays for them?

7) How they flout or stretch planning laws and ultimately kill off independent stores.

8) Extended opening times that mean workers must accept unsocial hours.

9) Mind boggling choice on the shelves - far too much choice in fact, leaving shoppers overwhelmed.

10) Bullying and exploitation of farmers and growers in the UK and across the world - to squeeze out maximum profits - no matter what the hurt or repercussions.

In a few minutes, I will be doing what I do every Saturday - toddling off to Netto with my recyclable shopping bags. I will spend several pounds less than I would need to spend at the Monstermarkets. Choice will be refreshingly limited. It will only take me forty minutes as the shop is so small. Regular workers Ange and Keeley will chat with me and who knows what I might pick up from the weird middle aisle? A bowling ball - a riding helmet - a marble egg - a mallet - a set of oil paints - a set of saucepans? Such is the magical world of your local Netto store...