Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Sausages

At my school, I have been a tutor for a group of thirty pupils for the last five years. They are soon to leave school. Ruth is the Head of Year. She had the bright but not wholly original idea of producing a year book for this cohort. She asked me to write a poem for it so I wrote two. Here they are - whipped out on Monday night after the pub quiz. I wonder if Wordsworth did the same:-

Sausages

You arrive at the sausage factory
At the age of eleven
They put you in form groups
And call you year seven
It’s all just a long
Conveyor belt ride
So open your mind
Let the learning inside.

You leave the sausage factory
At the end of Year Eleven
When the last bell rings
You feel you’re in heaven.
It was all just a dream
You made in your head
Were you alive
Or just playing dead?



Mind Mapping

On the day I left school
I mapped my mind
All the main features
Were underlined
I thought of how
The years had passed by
Wishing I hadn’t
Been so shy.
The future in bubbles
Was shown on the right
My hopes and my dreams
In felt tip on white.
Connections were made
With arrows and lines
Crossing the paper
Several times.
And where would I go to
Now school was done?
To seek my fortune
And have some fun.
Find me a lover
And love me a friend
Make sure there are no
Regrets in the end.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Blog???Changing definitions

One question...
What is blog?
Most people really dont know
According to word web it is "A shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies"
But i and most of the other blog dont do it that way...It doesnt remain a diary entry,and why people will post their real diary entries...most dont like it to show even in a home and they show it to the world.Those blogs featuring technology and other topics.Are they really blog??? may it not be their experience, may be tey had just copied...they might be me might be you.
I would like to make my definition:
"Blog is the content posted by the user for the user with/without a personal touch"
(content refers to any thing ranging from personal stuff to news)

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Chef

No not Chef from "South Park"! Over here in Merry Olde England we seem to have become obsessed with TV chefs such as Jamie Oliver, Anthony Worrall-Thompson, Delia Smith, Nigella Lawson etc. etc.. All over the country there are people tucking into three minute microwave meals while their culinary heroes painstakingly debone monkfish or toss green salads in exotic homemade dressings. TV moguls are always looking out for new kitchen talent and since Yorkshire Puddings were voted the UK's favourite regional food, I have been inundated with lucrative offers to take up a new career as a TV chef.


Though teaching recalcitrant pubescent urban secondary school kids is a delightfully fulfilling vocational mission, I have decided to succumb to the filthy lucre. Screen tests have already taken place and I have been signed up for a twelve show series to be screened in the Autumn - the mooted title is "Yorkshire Pudding's Bellybusters". I plan to be the counterbalance to all this fashionable healthy eating tomfoolery and the recipes I will demonstrate include toad in the hole, bread and butter pudding, sausage and mash, full English breakfast, tripe and onions, homemade doner kebabs and other English favourites such as Chicken tikka massalla and pork chow mein.


I have signed up a Seattle-based publicity team headed by the ballbusting Alkelda Gleeful to project my image in paper-based media. Here's the initial flyer. Mmmm... wouldn't you just love some Yorkshire pudding in your mouth? Open wide!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Gandhigiri and Third Law of motion

Lets make this blog random three to four things at the same.
This post falls under the ''other'' category.
"Once a theif was stealing something in a church. The church's father caught him stealing.The theif began beating the father. He slapped the father one side of cheek then the other.The father got angry and started beating the thief. The theif after getting beaten stood up with great difficulty and asked " First you didnt beat me and now why did you beat me?''Then the father replied 'First I followed Gandhigiri and then used Newton's third equation of motion'

According to Gandhigiri: one slaps one side of cheek, show him the other
According To Newton: To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Both are oldies,And it is adviced to learn from the old people.
But both are challenging and can kill you
Too many slaps can kill you
Too many slapping might kill the person and you need to play jail jail.
Both are read in books Gandhigiri has a different but its still it,this doesnt mean that we ignore them, try them when required only when required

But definitely if you are a one foot tall and the other is seven, neither Gandhi will work nor Newton.
Ya there's one way the P.T Usha way... go run...............

Friday, February 23, 2007

Windows Vista

Crazy procedures stop a bit, i decided to do some blogging on tech.

Starting with Windows Vista the best operating system of Windows is getting heavy as far as the requirements are considered.A few details...
* 512 mb ram which is minimum/recommeneded for vista is maximum for oridinary users.
*Vista is keeping prices high and kicking asses of users, promoting piracy.
* Vista is great as far as the changes are done. Better graphics: Aero interface... money how can it be forgotten,upgrading to new best graphic cards available in the market for it.
*Better security. Bullshit security. username password O.K, trashy anti spyware Okayyy.But big brains forgot the big thing "an anti virus" which was much necessary than the anti spyware.
There are so many things added in windows vista, but more than half of things were added in Macintosh OS X half decade before. Windows is trying to copy Macintosh.
Pointed edges in 98,2000 to curved in xp, reflects this.
But they are copying it with brains trying their best what else can they do.
But wait for sometime, when the price starts dropping then try, try your bargain.
Don't upgrade ,its better to buy a new computer than upgrading your older. WinVista is better in a new one.And why not buying a new PC as upgrading for it will be just 10-20K less.
Its better now to download its themes for cells and comp.'s

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Fame

At last I have the recognition I have craved for so long - yes I the humble Yorkshire Pudding am now officially England's favourite foodstuff! Ladies - sorry no men - you can eat me any time after I have risen to perfection in the oven! For enlightenment click on the hyperlinked pudding below:-

Next I'm hoping for some kind of official recognition - a knighthood would do nicely - "Arise Sir Yorkshire Pudding!" says the Queen, ladling lovely beef gravy over my golden and crispy person...!

Make Windows Picture and Fax Viewer a Media Player

Do u Know u can make your Windows Picture and Fax Viewer
(the one which is default for viewing ur pictures) for viewing movies also.
Just Play any movie with ur movie player full screen.
Take its Screen shot(Press "Print Screen SysRq" key to the right of "delete key"...
... Open Paint select, right click and paste)(save it as xyz{not recommended})
By default it will be stored in My Pictures as a black thumbnail.
Just open your video file. Go to my pictures> xyz> double click it
and ur video will get played. To view it full screen press slide show button,but pause it.
sometimes it gets played in the thumbnail view itself.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Next to do

So the file recording is done!
Now what to do with the file rust it in the computer or make a cd.
The steps are for the latter.
Just select the songs...right click on them select add to burn
Windows Movie Player will open up (WMP10 tested)
(Don't forget to put CD/R/RW)(If u want to make an audio cd use a CD/R)
Click Start Burn and wait till the cd gets burned... audio cd created.
If u want to make an Mp3 insert the cd(u just made) and Rip it to Mp3.
Use Nero to make Mp3( the files will be most probably in Unknown Folder)
If u want to make a video cd u can also do that with nero.
(1 bullshit caution: it will take half the time of the video to burn it)

Monday, February 19, 2007

Converted

No not a religious conversion! For me that would be impossible. What I'm talking about is my move this evening to "New Blogger". I had resisted as long as I could but in the end it was simply getting harder and harder to access old Blogger. Once you have clicked there's no going back so I hope to hell this thing works and I'm just going to see if I can add pictures any more easily. Let's go dudes - a couple of random pictures from my extensive digital library - the one that is clogging up my hard drive:-















Our wonderful kids last August when Ian was twenty two and back in 1990 when they were little... It seems like yesterday...

RECORD Music with Windows Movie Maker

You can record music,songs with Windows Movie Maker.
There are many sites that let u listen songs but not download them like www.raaga.com
Simply open Windows Movie Maker from All programs.(win XP SP2 version tested)
(You shall have a webcam for it.)
Click Capture from video device...dialog box opens
In audio input source select STEREO MIX.
Click next next next... if u want to change rest ofthe settings u can
Click on Start Capture as soon as the song starts(be cautious)
{If u finally wants it audio cd/mp3 put the cam lens down, if not dance)
When song gets over click on Stop Capture,then Finish
and wait till WMM does it own work.
By default ur file will be stored in My Documents> My Videos

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Bridges

Seeing the Ponte Vecchio in Florence made me consider what would be my list of the world's top bridges? Bridges are well-photographed. They can create a frisson of excitement when you cross them. The heart might race a little. Bridges are rather symbolic. They are about linking two places, finding solutions and they are quite ingenious - declaring man's ability to overcome natural obstacles.
My list considers history and appearance as well as engineering ingenuity. I give you my choices in reverse order

10. Cornish-Windsor Bridge, New Hampshire/Vermont, USA. A beautiful covered wooden structure which speaks of America's pioneering spirit and its westward ambitions.
9. The Iron Bridge, Ironbridge, Shropshire UK. This was the world's first iron bridge and though it imitated some wooden and stone constructional methods, it paved the way for many new approaches to bridge building.
8. Sydney Harbour Bridge, Australia. Based upon the Tyne Bridge in Newcastle-upon-Tyne in England, this cantilevered construction has long been a symbol of antipodean belief in a better tomorrow.
7. The Humber Bridge, River Humber, England. It was once the world's longest suspension bridge. I watched it grow from ideas in the Hull Daily Mail. It remains, graceful and impressive and underused. I mean who wants to go to Lincolnshire?
6. The Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco. I love that red rusty colour and how to the west of it the Pacific can be so angry yet to the east San Francisco Bay may be like a misty millpond
5. The Ponte Vecchio, Florence. Spanning the turbulent Arno River and still popular with jewellery merchants, this unusual medieval bridge remains both strong and beautiful to behold.
4. Brooklyn Bridge, New York. In its day it was an engineering masterpiece and it continues to play an important role as a key artery in the city's transport web.
3. Tower Bridge, London. With its huge crenellated towers, spanning the great River Thames it continues to declare London's historical significance as the focal point of a vast trading empire.
2. Akashi Kaikyo Bridge, Hyogo, Japan. At 6529 metres it is currently the world's longest suspension bridge. That length married with its graceful strength earns this fantastic modern day bridge its second place.
1. Rialto Bridge, Venice, Italy - spanning the Grand Canal - an instantly recognisable symbol of both Renaissance Italy and the Venetian Republic's practical, commercial and artistic pride.

Now that my list is done, I'm thinking of other bridges - such as the Pont d'Avignon in France or that amazing Danish bridge - the Storabaelt and I'm also thinking that my list is rather ethnocentric - there are probably other bridges in Asia, South America or Africa that deserved recognition. Which bridges have I missed out? Which would you include in your bridge list if you made one?

cornish-windsorbridge-450-90

HPIM0101a

268-Rialto-bridge

Number 10, Number 6 and Number 1 - The Rialto Bridge

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Wedding


Yesterday I had the privilege of attending T & S's wedding in historic Arundel. A great time was had by all including, I trust, the Bride and Groom.
The poor quality image is down to me and I'm afraid doesn't really do justice to the event or the Bride and Groom.
T, S: All the best for your future life as husband and wife.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Toscana

Back from Tuscany. After lunch yesterday, I nipped in to the Tourist Information office near my hotel in Florence. I was just looking for a free map having mislaid mine in the Gents at the Uffizi. "Where you from?" says one of the girls. One thing leads to another and instead of the Museum of Modert Art in the Pitti Palace, I am instead on the train to Empoli.
I had asked her - "Why is there so little recognition of Leonardo in Florence?" She agreed and told me I should go to Vinci, pulling out a regional map and a pleasantly designed brochure for the little town of Vinci - about twenty five miles west of Florence and eight miles north of Empoli. Of course - Vinci - Leonardo da Vinci - the place where he was from. It was three o'clock when I arrived in Empoli and then had to figure out where to catch a local bus to Vinci. By four I was there.
It was late afternoon - far away, across the Tuscan plain, hillocks rose in a heavenly heat haze where dark poplars like protective fingers surrounded ancient farmsteads. Distant mountains were dusted with snow and the sky was crispy blue in the honey-coloured late winter sunshine. Because of time I had a choice. Either The Museo Leonardiano or a long walk along a green road to the hamlet of Anchiano just north of Vinci. I chose the latter and became the only tourist in sight.

HPIM0905

The Tuscany of dreams. View from the Anchiano road.

This was a route that Leonardo and his family must have walked a thousand times in the mid fifteenth century. It took me through olive groves carpetted with sweet green winter grasses, allowing tantalising snatched glimpses of that western sun-blessed panorama and those eastern hills with their vineyards and terracotta farms and settlements.
Hot and breathless, I arrived on the edge of Anchiano. The air was still and warm. A flock of starlings headed for the woods. And there it was - Casa Natale di Leonardo - a rather humble building yet strong with small windows. The stone was like the sunshine - honey-coloured, reminding me of little farms that nestle in the English Cotswolds.

HPIM0906

Da Vinci? Leonardo da Anchiano's birthplace.

The trustees have retained the absolute simplicity of the place. Although there was an attendant on duty, who jumped from his afternoon slumber when I appeared, there was nothing for sale and little to see inside - a stone sink where the great man perhaps washed and a fireplace where he perhaps warmed his bones in the briefly wintry Montalbano Hills. There were shelves containing battered visitors' books going back to the sixties and I scrawled my own name in the current visitors' book with these discordant words "Leonardo was NOT a Mutant Teenage Ninja Turtle!"
***
On Sunday, I scaled the Leaning Tower of Pisa and manged to crack my head on the stone lintel above the entrance to the staircase at the very top. My bonce has been sore ever since. There were no crash helmets and no "Mind Your Head" signs.
In Florence there was lot of cigarette smoking going on, a lot of gabbling on mobile phones, a lot of motor scooters in rows and a lot of Japanese taking photos of each other in the most unlikely places: Here I am Yashimoto outside the Bank of Tuscany and here I am outside the Gucci shop and here I am in front of an old woman begging in the gutter and here we are near the public conveniences under the Central Market Hall.
I had mixed feelings about Florence. I scaled the incredible Duomo, visited the Uffizi and walked all over the central area. Sadly, the facade of the famous Santa Novella church was shrouded in scaffolding. On the Ponte Vecchio - one of the world's ten most famous bridges - I noticed something rather sweet but almost as environmentally questionable as my cheap flight - padlocks with lovers' names on them, locked for ever - at least till the authorities remove them. Rather a nice thought this Valentine's Day.

HPIM0884

Love locked in Florence but for how long?

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Pisa

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go.... well I will be at 5.45 tomorrow morning. I'm flying from Robin Hood Airport (Donacaster/Sheffield) to Pisa in Italy for the princely sum of £42 - around $90. It's another three day trip. It's amazing what you can cram in to such a short time. I had been planning to see a Serie A football game between Fiorentina and Udinese but this will now be played behind locked doors following growing trouble with Italian football fans that culminated last weekend in the death of a senior police officer in Sicily. The Italian government have made a very strong stance on this issue - even threatening to halt all football matches till the end of the season.

pisa

Ah well, I'm sure I will find plenty else to do such as visiting the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Uffizi Gallery in Florence. I wanted to book my Uffizi ticket over the internet but as I have discovered before, Italian websites sometimes appear a little backwards and don't make it easy to do online bookings. The alternative may be getting up early next Tuesday morning and queueing up with other tourists. The gallery is closed on Mondays for some dumb reason.
The plane back next Wednesday morning is at 6.30 am so I guess I will have to rise at 4am and arrange a taxi for the one mile journey from my hotel near the station in Pisa to the Galileo Gallilei Airport on the edge of town. I have an aversion to taxis and avoid jumping in them whenever there's an alternative. I hate the idea of tipping taxi drivers. I have been to hundreds of school parents' evenings and have never received one solitary monetary tip - often for months of hard work with difficult teenagers. Yet a taxi driver's body language says "tip?" every time. I mean - what do these guys do that's so bloody good? Sitting on their back sides, driving you short distances while the meter churns. A well-trained chimp could do that job.
So, dear readers, I'll be seeing you and if I don't visit an internet cafe in Pisa or Florence, I'll report on my short break when I return. Take care!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Dialect

I am proud to be a Yorkshireman. Last weekend at the Hull City game some of our fans chanted towards the West Brom end - "Yorkshire! Yorkshire!" It's a chant I have heard many times before and one to which I have often happily added my own voice. It's as if to say - we are from Yorkshire and we are proud of it and wherever you come from cannot compare with our marvellous county.
Both sets of grandparents were Yorkshire born and bred, my parents were both Yorkshire born - Mum in the old West Riding, Dad in the North Riding and they spawned me in the heart of the East Riding. Our daughter sometimes bemoans the fact that she has no exotic links like some of her friends but I remind her that she is herself of "mixed race" because I broke the mould by deigning to marry a Lincolnshire lass!

minster

Beverley Minster from The Westwood.

Yorkshire is a big county with numerous discernible accents/dialects. In Sheffield they mock the Barnsley accent and in East Yorkshire they mock the urban drawl of Hull. Up in North Yorkshire there's still a range of accents from the Dales to the coast and up to Teeside and then there's the Bradford accent and the Leeds way of speaking. In my village when I was a boy the farmers spoke in a manner which sometimes harked back to the Danes and Vikings. One word I have always remembered is "yitten" which roughly translated means scared.
So with all this variety, it sometimes seems odd to come across pieces of writing that claim to have been written in THE Yorkshire dialect because there's really no such thing. Such a piece of writing I have pasted below. In it, the speaker or writer advises how to make a good cup of tea in the days before teabags were invented:-
Nah then, tha wants t'empty t'owd watter aht o' kettle and fill 'er up wi' fresh watter afoor tha puts it on t' ob. Get taypot reet nicely warmed and dry insahd, and then get thi tay in. Nah, as soon as t'kettle comes reet on t' boil an' not a second afoor or aftah, get watter pooared in t' pot.

Dooan't furget! Allus tek t' pot to t' kettle and not t' kettle to t'pot. Lerrit mash a fair wahl an' then girrit a stir afoor tha pooars it aht. Nah, thez summas puts milk in fust an' summas put tay in fust . To oor way o' thinkin', t'impooartant thing is to mek certain tha's med plenty fooar secon'elpin's!
I expect that some of my American visitors will be baffled by such a version of English. For me the way I speak is part of my identity and in spite of a university education, travels around the world and a long career in teaching, I am glad that I have hung on to my vowels and the dialect words and Yorkshire undulations that will still tell the sensitive listener almost exactly where I am from. "You're not from Beverley are you?"

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Entry for February 03, 2007


Mum, Dad and I took Little Lad out for the morning to Henley on Thames, to feed the ducks today. Weather was beautiful and the ducks, geese and gulls were exceptionally pleased for the bread. Strangely, no swans to be seen anywhere.

Nice to see Mum laughing and enjoying time with Little Lad. He was equally pleased to be out with his grandparents. He sees them most weeks but at the moment it's mostly house-bound time. It's been a difficult week so time out was well deserved.

Elsewhere, The Royals visiting Manchester City won 2-0. Puts Reading in 6th position (their highest ever I think) on 40 points, which should ensure they are guaranteed to play in the Premiership next season.




Home




Away







Team
P
W
D
L
F
A
W
D
L
F
A
GD
PTS
1 Man Utd 25 11 1 1 33 8 8 2 2 24 10 39 60
2 Chelsea 26 9 4 0 27 8 8 2 3 18 11 26 57
3 Liverpool 26 10 3 0 25 3 5 2 6 14 14 22 50
4 Arsenal 25 7 5 0 30 9 6 2 5 16 12 25 46
5 Bolton 26 7 3 3 18 11 6 2 5 12 16 3 44
6 Reading 26 8 1 4 24 16 4 3 6 15 18 5 40
7 Portsmouth 26 7 4 2 20 9 3 4 6 14 16 9 38
8 Everton 25 6 4 2 19 9 3 5 5 12 14 8 36
9 Blackburn 26 6 2 5 16 16 4 2 7 14 21 -7 34
10 Newcastle 26 6 4 3 21 16 3 2 8 11 19 -3 33
11 Tottenham 24 8 1 3 21 12 1 5 6 8 20 -3 33
12 Middlesbrough 26 7 3 3 19 13 1 5 7 11 17 0 32
13 Aston Villa 26 6 4 3 15 11 1 7 5 13 20 -3 32
14 Fulham 26 6 4 3 12 10 1 7 5 16 29 -11 32
15 Man City 25 5 4 4 10 11 3 2 7 9 19 -11 30
16 Sheff Utd 26 4 5 4 15 15 3 1 9 7 20 -13 27
17 Wigan 25 4 2 7 13 20 3 2 7 13 21 -15 25
18 West Ham 26 5 2 6 14 16 0 3 10 4 25 -23 20
19 Charlton 26 4 3 6 11 17 1 2 10 9 28 -25 20
20 Watford 25 2 5 5 10 14 0 4 9 4 23 -23 15

Next stop Europe?

Misery

To be a loyal Hull City supporter you need to be addicted to misery. Once in a while there are beautiful sunny moments, made all the more beautiful because of the sickness, gloom and sheer misery that is our staple diet. How my heart was lifted on New Year's Day when we went to Hillsborough and silenced the Sheffield Wednesday crowd with a magnificent team display. As their supporters filtered out with minutes remaining, we sang, to the tune of "Bread of Heaven", - "We can see you sneaking out! We can see you! We can see you! We can see you sneaking out!" It was a joyous way to begin the new year - Hull City's first ever double over the mighty Owls in my adopted home city.
So to today, lovely and bright - a great day to be alive. My brother Paul from Ireland departed at eleven for East Midlands Airport - to catch his flight home to Shannon. Then I jumped in the car and whizzed over to our mum's residential home to chat with her for half an hour before heading into Hull for today's match.
Hull City v West Bromwich Albion from Birmingham. They are a good team with lots of Premiership experience - including former England man Kevin Phillips. They had height, speed and presence. Our lads battled. You can't say they didn't try but they really created nothing in front of goal - not even something you could call a half-chance. We fell to a sucker punch on the hour, the defence unlocked by the alert goalmouth trickery of Diomansy Kamara.

wba-mascot-270

The West Brom mascot

We were never going to get back. We were done for. The bright blue day suddenly became gloomy grey. I was sitting in the West Stand. Block W10 Row U Seat 266. Not recommended! The geography of the seating plan was such that supporters and stewards imagined that it wasn't a row at all but an aisle! I was up and down, up and down for people who weren't even sitting in our row. And some of them were so ignorant. They edged along and stood there, wondering why the great Yorkshire Pudding wasn't moving as I waited for "excuse me" or some other polite gesture. I'm a bit old fashioned that way. "Can I get by?" - "Ah yes you can but excuse me would be better - okay mate?"
The match drew to its miserable ending. The WBA fans were singing their hearts out while me and eighteen thousand other City fans reconnected with that familiar sick feeling in the pits of our stomachs. We are back in the relegation zone with games against Preston , Derby and Birmingham in the fixture pipeline. Oh woe is me! Anyone got a big jar of paracetamol or a good strong rope?

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Entry for February 01, 2007


Finally the evidence from the office Christmas party has surfaced...

I was once told "The way to top is to sleep with the boss."

Somehow I don't think this is quite what was meant.