Chavs

Chavs being chavvish.

Just the other day, I spotted a male "chav" down by the local Methodist church. He was wearing a Burberrry hat, a blue-white shellsuit, expensive trainers with the tongues hanging out and some golden bling. It was as if he had stepped out of a satirical cartoon.

Fashion means nothing to me. I scorn fashion magazines and the cult of the pretty model. Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell and all the rest are empty headed nobodies in my book. In the developing world, people are starving or running from war but here in the west our media suggests that we should be obsessed with fashion and the dramatic lives that fashion models allegedly lead. I'm not. I despise all of that.

Back to the chav, lounging on the church wall like an urban lizard. Why would anyone consciously shop for a Burberry cap or the other items in the stereotypical costume that that chav was wearing? It defeats me. There were plenty of these chavs on the council estate where I was a teacher. I taught some of them. Having left school or outside school hours, they would sometimes approach me. "Hiya sir!" It felt like an invasion from the Planet Chav.

Can you tell me, do chavs have their own fashion magazines where they check out different caps and new shellsuit styles? Is there a section called "Bling" and is there another section devoted exclusively to branded trainers with big tongues? I picture chavs in urban living rooms weighing up the different merits of chavwear.

In Wikipedia they say this:- "The widespread use of the "chav" stereotype has come under criticism; some argue that it amounts to simple snobbery and elitism, and that serious social problems such as Anti-Social Behaviour Orders, teenage pregnancy, delinquency and alcoholism in low-income areas are not subjects for derision. Critics of the term have argued that its users are "neo-snobs", and that its increasing popularity raises questions about how British society deals with social mobility and class. In a February 2005 article in The Times, Julie Burchill argued that use of the word is a form of "social racism", and that such "sneering" reveals more about the shortcomings of the "chav-haters" than those of their supposed victims. The writer John Harris argued along similar lines in a 2007 article in The Guardian."

How spiffing and right-on of Julie Burchill and John Harris to side with the chavs and call me a "neo-snob" if you wish but I hate chavism, hate the costumes and the attitudes, hate the herd-like way in which chavs stick together. I'd like to see Julie Burchill conforming with this dress code:-