Memed

That Welsh rare bit - Jennyta of "Demob Happy Teacher" discovered a piece in "The Independent" newspaper which she has turned into a meme challenge for we inhabitants of Blogworld. Like a relay runner, I also pass the baton to you dear reader. For insomniacs, here are my responses...

My parents were ... the best of friends and had great respect for one another. They were - like me - both Yorkshire born and bred.

The house I grew up in ... was a Victorian schoolhouse that Dad rented from the local council. He was the headmaster of the village school and we lived next door. There was a coalhouse, a wash-house and an outside toilet. In the garden there were three tall sycamores and a craggy apple tree. The school playground and field were our exclusive play territory when school was not in session.

When I was a child I wanted to be ... a man. Perhaps a poet or a teacher and later I thought I might like to be a famous rock star.

If I could change one thing about myself ... I would like to always remember to zip up my flies before going out and maybe also lose a few ounces of flab around the middle.

You wouldn't know it but I'm very good at ... drawing cartoons.

You may not know it but I'm no good at ... remembering numbers. I can remember my date of birth and home phone number, our house number and the fact that the Battle of Hastings was in 1066 but that is just about it. Numbers don't much interest me.

At night I dream of ... mostly rude things which I wouldn't wish to share with you.

What I see when I look in the mirror ... I see the vessel in which I have voyaged thus far through life. It has been a dependable ship but I guess it has seen better days.

My favourite outfit ... well clothes and fashion mean very little to me. I despise the western cult of fashion and "looking good" in a world where the vast majority of people are still very much focussed on simply surviving. Let's say a cowboy suit with a sheriff's badge and stirrups on my boots. I would look a right prat but who cares?

My house is ... comfortable and it's on a hill. Similar to so many pre-war semis in the suburbs of northern cities except we have a very big garden

My favourite work of art is ... "The Garden of Earthly Delights" by Hieronymous Bosch

A book that changed me ... "Lord of the Flies" by William Golding. I read it when I was fourteen and suddenly realised that a work of fiction could do far more than simply tell a story. There were layers and veils and half-hidden psychological and historical truths to discover.

Your idea of movie heaven ... a film that holds my attention so that I forget about time and become thoroughly absorbed - like "Once Upon a Time in America", "The Road" , "Schindler's List" or even "Titanic".

The last album I downloaded ... I have never downloaded an album in my life and have no intention of ever doing so. As years pass, music means less to me than it used to do.

My greatest regret ... that I never got to see my paternal grandparents. They were both dead before I was born which was, I think, one of the unspoken legacies of World War II.

My real-life villain ... Margaret Hilda Thatcher. Butcher of the trade union movement, warmonger and milk snatcher. She who said, "There is no such thing as society"

The person who really makes me laugh is ... Sergeant Bilko.

The last time I cried ... was earlier on today when I was watching a programme about missing people and it told the tale of a Down's syndrome man who wandered off into some woods. He was missing for thirty six hours. It was heart rending how his local community missed him, searched for him, found him and welcomed him back. He was much loved.

My five-year plan ... I have never believed in five year plans. You never know what life might throw at you. I would love to see both of our children happily married and one day I would love to cuddle my grandchildren. I am also keen to visit New Zealand. Are these plans?

What's the point? There is no point. You just get on and make the most of things, avoid unhappiness and seek out happiness and do unto others as you would have done to yourself because there IS such a thing as society.

My life in six words ... Came. Saw. Didn't Conquer. But Lived.