Pandas

Oi! What you looking at? Can't a giant panda enjoy a few bamboo shoots without being clicked by cameramen causing pandemonium? I had enough of that back in Chengdu, China. By the way, I'm Yang Guang. Just arrived in Edinburgh, Scotland with a gorgeous chick who goes by the name of Tian Tian. Nice to meet you everybody.

I overheard some of the "experts" who brought us over here and they're expecting us to mate. Well that's perfectly fine with me. It will interrupt my continuous bamboo feasting but hey, I won't beat about the bush - a daddy panda's got to do what a daddy panda's got to do. Mind you, I won't pander to her whims. I'll drive her to a remote country layby in my Fiat Panda and if she resists my charms she'll get a black eye... or perhaps a pair of black eyes. You've always got to show the girl pandas who's boss. Burrp! This bamboo - it's always repeating on me. Maybe I should try cockaleekie soup instead.

PANDA FACTS

Pandas are in the carnivore family and, for the most part, have the digestive system of a carnivore. Long ago, for reasons scientists do not understand (perhaps because they could not compete well for food with other carnivores), pandas adapted to a vegetarian diet.

Pandas only digest about 20% of what they eat while cattle digest 60%. Therefore, pandas must eat a lot to get the nourishment they need. Pandas consume 15 to 30 kilograms (33 to 66 pounds) of food per day. They eat for 10 to 16 hours per day and cover over one kilometer a day while eating. When they are not eating, pandas often conserve energy by sleeping.