Friday, April 6, 2012

Preparation

This post has been devised so that it may only be read by bloggers who make up the first wave of emigrants to Blogland . Remember we leave next Wednesday and you should report to the main information desk in your designated airport by midday in order to pick up your tickets. Don't forget your passport.

As well as packing your cases and buying summery shirts, shorts, flip flops, sun cream, bathing costumes and other personal stuff, you need to listen carefully to the following instruction.

It is important that you create a small bank of "typical" blogposts  with staggered publication dates so that while in transit to Blogland and indeed while settling in to your new life, the outer world is blind to what has taken place and imagines that our dull lives are just trucking along the same as ever. If we don't do this we may find that other less desirable people will follow us. Remember what happened with America? A small bunch of settlers went there on "The Mayflower" in  1620, others followed and now that country is like a huge colony of ants with 313 million inhabitants.. We don't want the same to happen in Blogland. So to repeat - create a bank of posts that will publish automatically as dated.

If blogstipated, here are a few suggestions for "ghost" posts:-

Jenny - The History of the Eisteddfod, Wrexham Football Club and Successful Dog Training.
Jan Blawat - How to make a pineapple cheesecake, Sacramento Mountain Lions and American gun laws.
Shooting Parrots - Car Maintenance, Was Bessie Braddock a Sex Symbol?... and Why Manchester people talk in nasal monotones
Rhymes With Plague -  My Swedish love child, Peach recipes from the Peach State, Looking after your organ.
Daphne - Swimming in The River Aire, The ancient roleplay game of "doctors and nurses", preparing tripe and onions for dinner guests.
Earl Gray - Nursing injured starlings and badgers, "If You Look Good You Feel Good" - the history of British tailoring, Why a brand of tea was named after me.
Arctic Fox - Cosmetics for men, Geocaching for beginners, Life without meat.
Libby - Obsessional Home Security, Libby's canned meats including Chicken Vienna Sausages, Alcoholism via red wine.
Katherine - My Secret Muffin Recipe, The History of Cricket in New Zealand, Ode to Edmund Hillary (A poem).
Brian - Dancing the Fandango with a Catalonian Senorita, The real reason why I was expelled from Britain, Famous Brians.
Helen - What I loved about Aussie schools, Cooking with koala meat, Tony's most irritating habits.

Have I missed anybody out? Honestly, I'm starting to feel like Captain Kirk assembling the first crew of the Starship Enterprise... "to boldly go where no man has gone before".

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