Boris

Buffoon

News has just filtered through to Blogland that Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has been re-elected as the Mayor of London. This merely confirms my view that most (voting) Londoners are numbskulls. I mean, how could they possibly elect a privileged oaf like Boris Johnson - whose trains of thought on just about any subject zigzag madly like random patterns on an "Etch-a-Sketch" screen? The guy is, as my old nana might have said, three sandwiches short of a picnic.

Fortunately, canny Sheffielders rejected the very idea of an elected mayor in Thursday's local government elections in which the pompous out-of-touch Tories were given a sound thrashing. I believe that mophead Johnson would also have been sent packing if it were not for the fact that his main mayoral opponent was the salamander-like and self-important Ken Livingstone. Livingstone put himself before his party and is to blame for Johnson being granted another four years of wanton buffoonery.

American born "Boris" is prone to gaffes and indiscretions. As a ham-fisted journalist he was happy to make stuff up and elaborate articles with falsified quotations. He has also ignorantly slighted entire countries, cities and races of people. Speaking of quotations - here are just a few from the mad world of Toryboy "Boris":-

This is what he once said about the proud southern naval city of Portsmouth:-
“Here we are in one of the most depressed towns in southern England, a place that is arguably too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement and Labour MPs.”


And this was "Boris" before the 2005 election:-
"Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3."


Here he is talking about Tory leadership struggles:-
"For 10 years we in the Tory Party have become used to Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing.”

And here are the stupid names of his privileged children - Lara Letiice, Cassia Peaches, Theodore Apollo and Milo Arthur. I mean, really! And yet...and yet... "Boris" is seen as a likeable eccentric in many quarters - bringing colour to the suited and dour world of politics. Be that as it may he is not welcome in Blogland. He hasn't got a cat in hell's chance of being granted an entry visa. Speaking of cats, as far as I am concerned, the only Boris that ever mattered to me was our lovely Boris, the real Boris who disappeared from our lives almost four years ago:-

The real Boris disappeared in June 2008