Schizoid

It's midnight. The end of two weeks of feasting, resting, ignoring the clock, drinking, meeting friends and family, reading and generally trying to put to the back of my mind what I do for a living. I have been so utterly and completely lazy. It is what I always want to be at Christmastime - just a lazy slob, hibernating - turning over and sleeping for another hour. So deliciously lazy.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, work kept nagging away. There were those "Netto" bags near the front door filled with Progress in English books and dozens of assignments about television advertising so today I got up early and became not Mr Lazy but Mr Busy. I have marked students' work and undertaken a number of admin tasks I had been putting off. So by my calculations, I have spent eight hours and forty five minutes on school work today. Isn't that what holidays are for?

As well as all of that mental drudgery, I have also concocted a lamb stew ready for tomorrow, visited the supermarket, bought a big sack of wild bird seed from "Pets At Home", collected Ian from his workplace in town and taken Frances to a friend's house for a games night - board games that is and I have also spent half an hour on the phone talking to a new recruit who will be joining the English team tomorrow on long term "supply". He is replacing another guy who decided he had had enough a few weeks before Christmas. I just hope the new bloke will be able to hack it. He seems... well, let's hope I'm wrong.

So tomorrow is Monday. So many British people will be returning to work after a long Christmas break. No more tinsel. No more turkey. No more gift wrapping production lines or mince pies. No more Christmas specials on the TV (Hurrah for "The Royle Family"!) No more pulling of crackers or singing of carols. No more burying yourself under the quilt till ten thirty. How shall we christen tomorrow? Let's not say Black Monday... let's say Grim Reaper Holocaust Sulky Suicidal Nasty Ink Black Monday! I can already feel the pain and the corners of my mouth curling downwards. Arrrrgggghhhh!