The Aurora Shooting and the Interminable Questions

Another mass shooting in a small Colorado suburb. (I don't even know what part of that sentence is most sickening, "another" or "mass shooting.") The answerable gets asked, for facts soothe the shocked. What How Where When Who go first. After those have settled, the unanswerable haunting Why comes up. Articles vomit their theories; loose gun laws, social inadequacies, negligent parents, media influences, and the maddening mundaneness of the American suburb.

Can we really handle the answer though? How many times did we read Eric Harris' diaries and watch Seung-Hui Cho's homemade videos? How many books will we write, how many weird indie films will we make, how many more pieces to this puzzle do we need before we take responsibility?
Maybe they were insane or maybe they were just a magnified version of us: angry, in pain, and lonely. The disparity lies in their despair and not, I maintain, in their access to weapons, for we all have access to weapons but we do not all go on a shooting rampage.

We collectively ignore the misfits around us, and then we collectively believe that if we take away the means, we will erase the turbulent cause. Not that the argument is unfounded: if we banned cigarettes, we would likely have less cases of lung cancer; if we take guns away from our children, we will likely have less mass murders among our youth. I am absolutely in favor of gun control- if we can prevent the How, then why don't we?- But neither "solution" soothes the cause, and we simply cannot ignore that. Our angry young men will still be angry young men. Their desire to indiscriminately kill others still stirs within them, and what do we intend to do about that? Numb them with Prozac and do away with violent entertainment? Guarantee every child in an American suburb loving and attentive yet ambitious and successful parents who can pay for a college education that will give them a fulfilling career?

Theories and questions don't change the tragedy, the sadness, or the loss. But we must study it, we must ask questions, we must be moved to tears by this, we must scream at the top of our lungs, and we must not stop thinking about it for a moment, for the instant we move on with our lives, it will happen again.

How a Busted Cell Phone Can Save Your Life

Lost in the wilderness with a broken or uncharged cell phone?  It could still save your life.  Here's how:

Signal Mirror

Use the speaker to magnetize a needle for a compass

Make arrowheads or spear points from the circuit boards

Use the battery to start a fire

Make fishing lures from small parts (yes, fish are that stupid, sometimes)

Catch a wabbit with a noose made from the headphones.

The 11th Anniversary of My Plastic Surgeries

Please God make me pretty.

But God is for the poor. The rich can go to sleep and wake up pretty.

Rip
Cut
Suck
Tuck
Nip
Perk
Sew
Scar

And into little jars went the woman I was meant to be. 

Twenty-six thousand dollars worth of self-esteem plastered onto me forever, and no more t-shirts at the beach. No more hiding in the bathroom during pictures. No more getting asked out as a joke.

Drip
Drop
Splash
Shh


Eleven years later, I still taste like plastic.

How a Brazilian Survives Winter in New York

It has taken me NINE New York winters to figure out how to survive them. That means I was here back when winters were real, with snow days and big boots and dry skin. I learned to battle the "winter blues," which to me felt much like outright depression and not at all like a passive color, and I lived to tell the story. So, young adults from tropical places about to go to college in the east coast thinking it's all kinds of awesome, Do not take this information for granted. My tone is condescending and in nine years you will know why. Take this as gold.


1. Proper Attire

If it is your first winter, you will need all of these things. You will need them until about your fourth winter, then you can graduate to less things.
- A long puffy nylon coat in a dark color that has both a zipper and buttons. It must have deep good pockets that zip up and a detachable hood. It must be waterproof and it should be so warm that if you put it on indoors over your naked body you will begin to sweat.

At Sarah Lawrence in the winter of 2005

- Thick cashmere and/or wool scarves in many colors. This is where you can change your closet. You only need one coat, but you need many scarves. Make sure they are washable and make sure you wash them.
- Warm hats that cover your ears and that can be stuffed in the pockets of your coat. You can also have more than one, but it should be washable and you should wash it.
- Gloves. Nowadays, I use gloves that allow me to text. A good investment. Don't buy expensive gloves. They get lost.
- Boots. We no longer have snowstorms of the kind you can't walk through with regular shoes, but you still need boots. Rubber soles, waterproof, comfortable boots that have zippers. None of that slip-on stuff, you need to be practical in the winter.
- Underclothes. I like to wear cotton leggings instead of long underwear. Black, several, and washable. I don't own long-sleeved shirts anymore. You sweat more in the winter than you do in the summer. Once you get inside a place, you will want to have a tank-top on, such is the power of modern heat.
- The most practical bag is either a backpack or a long strapped side bag. An over your shoulder bag tends to fall off a bulky coat.  


2. Things

- Tissues (buy them buy the box load at Bed Bath & Beyond for under $2.00).
- Hand Sanitizer (not everyone carries around tissues, and so the city becomes a germ bed).
- A pocket mirror that you carry in the pocket of your coat (for snot checking before going in for a job interview or meeting your boyfriend's ex-beneficial-friend).
-  Cough drops.
- Humidifier (unless you sweat a lot at night anyway).
- Sunglasses.
- Lip Balm (I think I have gone through about 5,000 in nine years).
- Moisturizer (big bottles at home, little ones for your purse).
- Benetint (paleness, even for the naturally tanned, is a side effect of winter-- indulge in liquid blush).


3. Battling the Blues: Wake Up and Brighten

- The days are shorter, so don't sleep in. Wake up with the sun, make the day as long as humanely possible.
- Have bright things. Throw pillows, nail polish, carpets, flowers, table cloths, whatever. Just have bright stuff to look at. (Note the color scheme here on my blog.)
- Avoid things that lead to depression in the long run, such as alcohol, drugs, sleeping too much or too little, unemployment, and dating assholes.
- Have at least a shelf full of self-help books. Work through them over the next five years.
- Collect inspiration, through quotes, nature, architecture, etc. Whatever makes you feel things you cannot even label, indulge in them. I personally have a "Book of Happiness," that I started on my fourth year here. It is one of my go-to's for a smile on any given day. 
- Mark on your calendar how many days you go without leaving your house. Do not exceed three.
- Even if you like depressing movies, paintings, poems, and relationships, steer clear of them. Or, likewise with hibernation, keep track of how many of those you take in per week and do not exceed three.
- Cut or color your hair. Preferably not depression-purple. I'm sporting caramel-blond highlights on an uneven inverted hairstyle right now. Yeah. Roar. 
- Exercise. Winter will make you fat.




4. Protecting Your Immune System

- These are the things I have discovered (the hard way) I cannot live without:

Vitamin D3

Vitamin C

Echinacea tea

Sambucus Immune System Syrup

Silver Hydrosol Spray

Mint Lozenges

Emergen-C

And my super Immune System Boosting Tea: lemon zinger tea, fresh squeezed whole lemon or lime, honey, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, chopped raw garlic, and chopped raw ginger-- all mixed together in hot water, covered, and steeped for 15 minutes. If you feel your throat scratching, drink this immediately. If you have to socialize that day, skip the raw garlic until you're home alone and not going out again that day.
- If you are sick, take all of the above, a warm shower, bundle up, and go to bed. Do not try to brave winter while sick. If you have to work, then wear a lot of layers, but make sure you are not sweating while you are outside in the cold. Your skin should be dry, and you should feel warm. Protect your neck, chest, head, and feet. Try not to take "cough suppressants" or "fever reducers" unless you absolutely have to. They are an illusion; your body will overwork itself because it is numb, and then you will crash.
- Ask a friend to bring you organic fresh vegetables and fruits- can be in the form of juices and soups.


5. Love Stuff

- If you are in love, winter will be easier by a thousand percent. If you are heartbroken, winter will make you suicidal. If you are in a bad relationship, winter will make you homicidal. So, if you can, try not to get dumped in the fall, really work on finding a lasting love story during the summer, and get out of anything bad before it gets blisteringly cold outside. 
- We live in an era that caters to cowards, so go ahead and join an online dating website if you haven't already.
- I have been single for many a winter- this last one included- and it can also be just fine, if not great. I take the time to try new classes, read books, start creative projects, travel, and soul search. But remember, Valentine's Day is in the winter, so plan ahead for that one. So far getting brutally ill has been the best way I've gotten through it.


All right, that's my list. Make good use of it! Print it out, frame it, and pass it on for generations to come (given we still have winters in our globally warmed future). And, when April comes around and it's STILL cold, but you're ALIVE, and WELL, and NOT EVEN DEPRESSED, give yourself a giant treat: a vacation from New York City. Preferably somewhere warm, but any good vacation will do. If you are poor, then start a fund NOW for next year and put aside $100 a month for the next year-- this will be your sacred vacation money.


ENJOY.

My Hair and My Smile