If I Shaved

...I'd use these

Nerd Girl Extravaganza

Comic-Con 2012



There's plenty more where that came from.

Strike!

Amazing bowling trick shot.



I can't believe that's good for the lane.

21st Century Romance

To steal a theme from Instapundit.



If you really can't stand the music (yes, it's possible, maybe even likely) turn the music down off and watch it for the the plot and hang in there 'til the end.

Stolen from Jawa's, where it was paired with this parody:



Which led to this...



Wombat-Soccho hit his self imposed Sunday deadline with "Burning Photographs" and Rule 5s at The Other Mccain.

Fair or Unfair?

Running legend Michael Johnson believes Oscar Pistorius has an 'unfair advantage'- Short Legs:

The American, winner of Olympic gold medals in the 400m in 1996 and 2000, was talking specifically about Oscar Pistorius, the South African known as ‘blade runner’.

While he stressed that he considers Pistorius, who has been allowed to compete at the London Games in the able-bodied 400m, as a friend, the Dallas-born sprinter revealed that he considers the principle of disabled competitors lining up alongside those without specially developed limbs flawed.

When asked at a Times+ event whether he thought Pistorius's inclusion was political correctness gone mad or an inspiring human story, the 44 year-old said: “I think it is both. I know Oscar well, and he knows my position; my position is that because we don’t know for sure whether he gets an advantage from the prosthetics that he wears it is unfair to the able-bodied competitors.

My opinion, FWIW.  If his current prosthetic legs weigh approximately what his original legs would, let him complete.  If not, add weight to make them equal.  If he wins, give him an asterisk. 

I don't think we need to worry about athletes having their legs amputated and replaced by prosthetics, at least until after one of the them wins gold.

Otters Join Squirrels in Attacks on Civilization

The squirrels gained powerful new allies in their war against human civilization, when a Duluth otter decided to wage war on a triathlete swimming in Island Lake.

Fangs pierced Leah Prudhomme's legs as she swam across the deep, dark rum-colored northern Minnesota lake. It could be anything, she thought -- muskrats, beavers, maybe a muskie. But it didn't let up.

In the middle of Island Lake near Duluth, the triathlete struggled as the animal sunk its needle-sharp teeth into her legs, feet and back, leaving 25 bite marks, some 2 inches deep.  "It just kept coming after me," said Prudhomme, 33, of Anoka. "You never knew where it was going to bite next."

In between peppering her with puncture marks, the animal's head popped up a few feet away. That's when Prudhomme noticed its distinctive long tapered tail, small beady eyes and gray head. An otter.

No chance of out swimming an otter, you pretty much have to hope it gets bored with biting you and gives up.  Or maybe while swimming you should carry a fish to give to the otter to distract it.

"I couldn't believe Duluth had an otter," she said Saturday before getting more rabies shots, her swollen ankles and bite marks still healing three days after the incident.

The rare lake attack baffled conservation experts and doctors, who could only surmise that the atypically aggressive otter had rabies or was a mother protecting young pups.

"I've never seen or heard of it before," said Mike Scott, a conservation officer with the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources in Duluth. "We've got otters everywhere ... lakes, streams. Most times, [swimmers] wouldn't even know it. Otters usually stay away."

Between the squirrels in the forests, and the otters in water, only the plains and deserts will be safe for humans. Heaven help us if the Prairie dogs and Black Footed Ferrets join the anti-human crusade too.

Hot Blonde Drags Her Pussy Down the Beach

So what did you think I was talking about?

Thanks to Wombat-Soccho for the links at The Other McCains  plain brown wrapper "Rule 5 Monday" linkfest. Also to The Classical Liberal, who clearly pored over the blog looking for Rule 5 material for his links "Rule 5 Fuel."

Drunk Oregonian Demands Skink

Skink

Did I write skink? I meant skank: Man's Demand to Wed Paris Hilton Spurs Hotel Stand-Off

An intoxicated man barricaded himself in a hotel room, threatening to shoot at police and demanding a snack (pizza) and a wife (Paris Hilton), cops said.

Fredrick Denney, 61, from Oregon, caused a disturbance at the Hampton Inn in Belmont, N.C., that wound up drawing multiple agencies — including a SWAT team — to the scene, Charlotte, N.C., NBC affiliate WCNC reported.

Skank

Authorities said they shut down the second floor of the hotel while they tried to coax him out of the hotel room, but he refused, barring socialite Paris Hilton's hand in marriage, according to cops.

Eventually, Denney was subdued with pepper spray, taken into custody and mentally evaluated, WCNC reported. He faces multiple charges, $90,000 bond — and bachelorhood.

Cops said he had been involved in run-ins with SWAT teams in other states in the past, too.

You know, the endless gray skies and drizzle of Oregon can drive a guy crazy.  But she'd probably be lucky to have him.

Thanks to Wombat-Soccho for the links at The Other McCains  plain brown wrapper "Rule 5 Monday" linkfest. Also to The Classical Liberal, who clearly pored over the blog looking for Rule 5 material for his links "Rule 5 Fuel."

Good Recovery!

And another one:

Fireworks, the Executive Summary

Twenty minutes worth of fireworks in 20 seconds, due to a glitch in the electronics at San Diego's fireworks display last night. Makes me appreciate the private fireworks on the beach last night even more.  And nobody got hurt...

OK, Now This Zombie Nonsense Has Gone Too Far

It was OK, when they were just eating the faces off homeless bums, or a roommate, but now they've gone too far.  They're killing man's best friend!

Another "zombie-like" attack? Man eats family dog after police say he ingested synthetic drug K-2

Texas - Police in Waco arrested 22-year-old Michael Daniel Monday after they say he ate a dog. Family members called police on June 14, saying Daniel assaulted people at the home, chased a neighbor and started barking and growling.

What happened next is horrific. Witnesses say Daniel grabbed the family dog, beat and strangled it...then started to eat it.

The dog died at the home.

Daniel is believed to have been on a bad trip from ingesting "K-2," a synthetic drug. He was taken to the hospital and now faces a felony charge for animal cruelty.

Question.  Under Romero zombie rules, do dogs become zombies when bitten by zombie humans?  Or does the disease have to arise separately from veterinary doctors messing with dog diseases?

Apparently human to dog transmission is permitted up Resident Evil zombie rules.  You show him Milla!

Water Skiing in Africa

Looks like fun...

Texas Bow Hunter Kills Monster Fish

Texas fisherman prevails in epic battle with enormous alligator gar

...Crawford, with his fishing bow, stalked the great fish carefully, knowing he might only get one shot.

When he finally fired, he scored a direct hit, unleashing the fury of the 8-foot, 2-inch beast, which created an explosion of mud and water before it ran toward the lake.

Big problem, because the nylon cord had become tangled at Crawford's feet, and when he grabbed the line, as it began to tighten, it became wrapped around his hand.

The line went taut and the fish yanked the fisherman into the water headfirst. That's when Crawford's dog, Bleux, grabbed him by the cuff of the jeans, creating a bizarre riverbank tug-of-war.

Crawford ultimately was able to free his hand from the cord and stand knee-deep in the shallow canal, gripping his fishing bow, the cord still attached to the mighty fish. "There was no doubt who was in control and it wasn't me," the fisherman recalled.

The gar stole 200 feet of cord in a battle that lasted 45 minutes, before Crawford reeled it to the bank. Soaked and exhausted, the fisherman straddled the fish, reached for his cellphone -- which he had kept in a waterproof case -- and dialed a friend.

The friend arrived with a pistol, which resoundingly ended the struggle, and the two men used a rope and an ATV to drag the quarry to Crawford's house...

It exceeded his 300 lb scale and he filleted it, which leaves its weight in question, so he'll never know if he caught a record fish or not.

It would have made a great video...

The Tribulations of Rural Living

Rabid Skunk Bites Woman at Local Restaurant

On Thursday, June 14 at approximately 3:40 p.m., patrons at Cheeseburger in Paradise, located in the Wildewood Shopping Center in California, Md., were surprised by an unwelcome visitor when a skunk wandered into the restaurant.

It is not clear exactly what transpired, but SMNEWSNET.com has confirmed that a female was bitten by the skunk.

Animal Control was called to the scene where they proceeded to collect and kill the animal. The female who was bitten was taken to the hospital in a personal vehicle.

I knew Buffett fans were rabid, but I wouldn't have considered them skunks.

The skunk is the sixth animal from St. Mary’s County this year confirmed through
laboratory testing to have rabies. Three raccoons and two other skunks involved in contact with owned animals have been confirmed as rabid since January 1. Fourteen animals from St. Mary’s County were confirmed to have rabies in 2011 including two raccoons, five skunks, four foxes and three cats.

Rabies has been a problem in the rural counties in Maryland at least since I arrived here in 1985.  At least one rabid cat has been reported to have bitten some one in the St. Leonard/Calvert Beach vicinity.  It's important to vaccinate pets, and people who work with wildlife often get preventative rabies immunizations.

Dead Cat Bounce?

Dutch artist turns dead cat into remote-controlled helicopter, dubbed ‘Orvillecopter’

A Dutch artist, upset over losing his beloved pet, Orville, had the animal stuffed and transformed its body into a remote-controlled helicopter, Sky News reported Monday.

The “half cat, half machine” piece of art was dubbed the “Orvillecopter.” The cat, who was killed when it was hit by a car, was named after famed American aviator Orville Wright.

“After a period of mourning, he received his propellers posthumously,” Jansen said.

Sick, but funny...

Thanks to PJ, who showed this to me before Drudge....

Come On Baby, Light My Fire

Beach rocks erupt into flame in woman's pocket

The case of an Orange County woman severely burned after rocks collected last weekend from San Onofre State Beach ignited in her pocket has puzzled scientists, who say they've never seen anything like it and aren't quite sure how it happened.

"It's pretty implausible," said Larry Overman, a professor of chemistry at UC Irvine.

The 43-year-old San Clemente woman, who remained hospitalized Thursday with second- and third-degree burns, visited the northern San Diego County beach last Saturday with her family, authorities said. Her name has not been released.

Her children collected rocks, including two that were distinctive — one was large and a marbled gray; the other much smaller and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle green.

Both of the beach stones were streaked and flecked with bright orange.

The mother put the rocks in her right pocket and went home. Then they suddenly ignited.

Witnesses reported seeing flames coming from her shorts. She had second- and third-degree burns from her right knee to her right thigh, with second-degree burns on her hands. Her husband also had burns on his hands from trying to help her.

I regard this as a real problem; random beach rocks bursting into flame in someone's pockets?  It could happen to anyone! More to the point, it could happen to me, as I often have random beach rocks in my pockets.  We need a federal investigation!  So what happened?

The Orange County Health Care Agency examined the two rocks, and tests revealed a "phosphorous substance" on the rocks, which now have been sent to a state laboratory for further testing, said Tricia Landquist, an agency spokeswoman.

That discovery, however, has only added to the mystery.

Scientists wondered: How does a chemical like phosphorus wind up on a Southern California beach? And why did a substance so volatile not burst into flames sooner?

"I can't think of a scenario of chemicals on the beach that would have the properties that are described," Overman said.

Andrew Borovik, also a chemistry professor at UCI, had similar doubts. He said that phosphorus — which is typically kept in a controlled setting and stored in water — could indeed ignite when air touches it. But he was unsure how the phosphorous substance could be part of a rock.

"I don't know if it exists just sitting around on the beach," Borovik said. "It just seems unlikely."

James Earthman, a professor of chemical engineering and material science at UC Irvine, had a few possibilities: The inorganic chemical could have come from a passing ship or from nearby Camp Pendleton. And the reason for the delayed combustion could be because the rocks were still wet and didn't ignite until they were dry — and, he noted, we don't know what else could have been in the woman's pockets.

Hmm.  My theory (FWIW) is that they picked up a piece of wet (and therefore non reactive) white or red phosphorous remaining from from a shell at Camp Pendleton, which ignited the cloth in her shorts.  There's probably nothing left of the original piece of phosphorous, but the residue on the other rocks.  The orange looks like rust to me; maybe some reaction involving some metal object in her pocket as well.

A Four Beer Appetizer

More Japanese Weirdness



The second guy seems to have a better grasp of the problem.

The Epitome of a Bad Day

Father, sons drown in shit

Maryland State Police say the bodies of a father and his two teenage sons have been recovered from a large manure pit on the upper Eastern Shore.

Police said Thursday it is not clear how the three victims became submerged in the manure pit at a large dairy farm where they worked on the 12000 block of Vansant Corner Road in Kennedyville. They were tentatively identified as 48-year-old Glen W. Nolt, of Peach Bottom, Pa., and his sons, 18-year-old Kelvin R. Nolt and 14-year-old Cleason S. Nolt. Their bodies will be transported to the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner in Baltimore for autopsies to determine the cause of their deaths.

Police say when the three did not come home to milk their dairy cows Wednesday evening, family members became concerned and drove to the farm.

Your Friday Monkey Dacker Butt Licker

Sorry about missing last Friday's Monkey Dacker post, but I was otherwise engaged in Alaska.  This week's Monkey Dacker is the zookeeper who licked the monkey butt to save the monkey. 

Zoo Caretaker Licks Monkey’s Butt To Help It Defecate

Wuhan Zoo Monkey caretaker Zhang Bangsheng unbelievably used his tongue to lick a small monkey’s butt!

50-year-old Zhang Bangsheng used warm water to clean a small Francois’ Leaf Monkey’s buttocks, then began using his mouth to lick it, not stopping for over an hour, until the little monkey defecated a single peanut. Only after the peanut was defecated did Zhang Bangsheng laugh with satisfaction.

As it is understood, this small Francois’ langur is only 3 months old, and is the first Francois’ Leaf Monkey to be born in nearly 10 years at this animal park. The Francois’ langur is a rare primate from Guangxi and Guizhou and is amongst the nation’s most protected animals. Because it is so precious, the zoo gave it to model worker and high-level expert Zhang Bangsheng to care for and raise.

On the first day of the “May 1st” short holiday, Zhang Bangsheng let the small Francois langur enter the monkey exhibit for the first time to meet visitors so it can see more of the world. The next day, Old Zhang discovered that the little monkey had indigestion and difficulty defecating, and immediately became worried. Seeing peanut shells on the ground, Old Zhang immediately understood that visitors had definitely tossed peanuts to the small monkey, and the toothless monkey swallowed the peanut whole. If it does not quickly defecate it, it would endanger the little monkey’s life.

Because the monkey is too small, it wasn’t suitable to use medicine to let it defecate. The only way was to lick its butt, to prompt it to defecate the peanut, and so the scene at the start of this article occurred.

Now, there is a man dedicated to his job...

More Japanese Weirdness

Artist Cooks, Serves Own Genitals At Banquet In Tokyo 

I think I just lost my appetite.  And that takes a lot.

Mao Sugiyama, a self-described "asexual" from Tokyo, cooked up, seasoned and served his own genitalia to five diners at a swanky banquet in Japan last month, Calorie Lab reported.

In most cases, "asexual" is a word used to describe a person who is non-sexual. Sugiyama, however, embraces it as a way to show that he does not affiliate with either gender.

I would add that he she it has just strikingly limited his her it's options as to which gender to affiliate with. 

My own taste in Japanese weirdness runs more towards...



Speaking of Japanese weirdness, I recently downloaded "Black Wind" by Paul F. Wilson onto my Kindle, and read it on my recent cross country adventure. A good deal at $2.99

And, of course, special thanks to Wombat-Socho for including this in his weekly Rule 5 roundup, "Rule 5 Monday: Memorial Day".  Also thanks to the Classical Liberal who linked this in "She's Got the Jack."