Sleepless

Bangkok Skytrain

Not Sleepless in Seattle but Bushed in Bangkok. This is my third night here and though I sleep soundly at first, I wake in the early hours of the morning feeling drained and frustrated that I haven't had my customary seven or eight hours of blissful, battery-charging unconsciousness. If I don't return to my usual sleeping pattern soon I will turn into a zombie, stalking the streets of Bangkok like Frankenstein's monster.

Saturday was quite full. Lord and Lady Booth of Northgate accompanied me on an apartment hunt which ranged from a designer pad from a style magazine to a seedy murder scene flat with thunderous aircon and mosquitoes. A couple of the apartments admittedly had wonderful views over this great sprawling city but I just couldn't see myself in a lofty eyrie twenty two storeys up. I would have felt like a worker bee in a hive. So I am hoping that I can negotiate something with the owner of this lovely little B&B set back from the road in its little garden oasis with its little plunge pool and its copy of "The Bangkok Post" on the table in reception. The only thing is I would need to be allowed a kettle and a toaster - perhaps a microwave too - and the price would need to be right. The scale here is definitely human and its more me.

Perhaps because it is the middle of the night I have been thinking up Thai nicknames for some of my most regular visitors. These names must be adopted and used on all future official communications and documents, passports etc.. Here goes:-

Jenny at "Demob Happy Teacher" will be Couch.

Malc at "The Edge of Nowhere" will be Boar.

Robert at "Rhymes With Plague" will be Gramps.

Daphne at "My Dad's a Chemist" will be Flipper.

Brian in Catalonia will be Messi.

Helen in Australia will be Wombat.

Frances in Birmingham will be Me Got De Fishing Net.

Ruby in St Andrews will be Mutley.

Farida in Seattle will be Fantasy.

Elizabeth at "Well This Int Gettin' T'Ens Fed" will be Firewalk.

Jan at "Cosumne Gal" will be Sierra View

Katherine at "The Last Visible Dog" will be Easel.

Mr Jonathan at "Bangkok Boothys" will be All Day Breakfast.

and last but not least, John Gray at "Going Gently" will be Dr Dolittle.

I am sorry if other visitors feel disappointed about not receiving nicknames. For a small fee, personalised nicknames will be devised upon request.