Oh No Moments

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Forrest Gump immortalized it: Shit Happens.

Some of my Oh No Moments that still make me cringe...

• Spilling red wine on the white couch of a couple I was visiting for the first time. Ugh ugh ugh. 

• Opening the door to a cafe and hitting a child on the face. The poor little guy fell on the ground, sobbing, while his parents gave me "You asshole" looks and a girl at the counter said to her friend, "Oh my god that's like my worst fear, hurting someone else's child." Yeah. Thanks. 

• Leaving my building and hearing my doorman run after me to tell me my skirt was caught in my underwear in the back. I still can't look that doorman in the eye. 

• Calling/texting/showing up at an ex-boyfriend's door after severe inebriation. Usually followed by extreme crying on the street and a week-long hang-over. 

• Telling my cousin's daughter she doesn't have to wait for the "go light" to cross the street. Boy, I'm never gonna live that one down. 

• Turning in a paper to a teacher in high school and accidentally leaving in a love poem I'd written for a boy between the pages. Teacher thought the poem was meant for him. Big uh-oh moment. Pretty much awkward for the duration of my high school career.

• Talking about how I absolutely can't stand so-and-so to a guy I didn't know had dated her. Apparently, they were still on good enough terms that he recounted our conversation to her. Boy, she does not like me now. 

• Getting a tattoo on impulse. Ended up with a "ladybug" that looks like a cockroach. Forever.

 

There are more, but one can only take sharing a few of these at a time...

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